SelfHelpInfoNow.com


Two Leadership Traps: How To Avoid Them and How To Get Out Of Them (Part 2)


Here's how to get out of, or avoid, the "I need ... " trap. It simply involves changing what you think and what you say in very simple ways.

In my working with leaders worldwide for more than two decades, I've noticed a character trait that the most successful share: They focus consistently on understanding and supporting the people whom they lead.

For instance, you could say, "You need ..." which is a good way out. Or, you could say, "The team needs ... " which is a better way out.

Or, you could say, "Do you need? ..." Which is the best way out, especially with a question mark attached. A corollary to this question is, "What do you need from me to help you get the team to succeed?"

Asking a question rather than using a declarative is often more effective because it gets people reflecting upon their situation. After all, we can't motivate anyone to do anything. They have to motivate themselves. And they best motivate themselves when they reflect on their character and their situation.

A question can trigger such reflection and ultimately lead to their making the choice to be motivated to be your cause leader. You may not like the answer; but often their answer, no matter what it is, can better lead to more results being achieved than your declaration can.

Furthermore, asking questions like, "What do you need for the team to succeed? ..." works much better than saying "I need ... " because you are forging a "critical confluence" - the confluence of your or your organization's needs with their needs.

You may think I'm putting too fine a point on these changes; and to a degree, you'd be right. Making simply one change may not be important; but when you multiple the changes many times during the day, day in and day out, month in and month out, their aggregate can add up to tremendous change indeed. In fact, it can add up to job and career transformation.

So, the next time you are tempted to say, "I need ... ", don't. Instead, say, "Do you need? ..." or "What do you need? ... " Over time, you'll forge great changes in how people relate to you and your leadership, changes that will lead to substantial increases in results.

However, watch out: In getting out of the "I need ..." trap, you may find yourself in another trap. Asking "What do you need? ..." might play right into their hands of people who don't' trust you or want to sabotage your leadership or use you to further their own ends. Such people want to lead you down their private rabbit hole. They want to get you exploring things that have nothing to do with your getting the results you need and everything to do with satisfying the needs of their ego or whatever agenda they have. "Don't you think you need? ... " could be their ticket to ride. Before you ask the question, be aware of the ride and how to get off.

THE SECOND TRAP. The "You do ... " trap. Most leaders miss a great opportunity that presents itself to them daily. Since leadership is all about having people take action that gets results, it's important to understand the kind of action people should take to get the best results. You can ensure it is the best kind of action by challenging people not simply to do a job but to take leadership of that job. After all, there's a big difference between people doing and leading; and when you are constantly saying, "You do ... " you are missing out on getting a lot more results.

Now that you know how to avoid two leadership traps, you'll find that your career will be boosted in many marvelous ways.

2005 © The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. All rights reserved.

PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on web sites provided attribution is provided to the author, and it appears with the included copyright, resource box and live web site link. Email notice of intent to publish is appreciated but not required: mail to: brent@actionleadership.com

The author of 23 books, Brent Filson's recent books are, THE LEADERSHIP TALK: THE GREATEST LEADERSHIP TOOL and 101 WAYS TO GIVE GREAT LEADERSHIP TALKS. He is founder and president of The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. - and for more than 20 years has been helping leaders of top companies worldwide get audacious results. Sign up for his free leadership e-zine and get a free white paper: "49 Ways To Turn Action Into Results," at http://www.actionleadership.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Feds raid office of doctor suspected in illicit weight-loss treatment
Seattle Post Intelligencer
Referring to himself as a "Weight-Loss Doctor," the licensed naturopathic doctor is alleged to have offered to sell the drugs through a pair of Web sites, ...

and more »


Digital Spy

The Biggest Loser: Weight Loss Through Tears
TV.com
It was a three-hanky night, and the sheer volume of tears must have been good for weight-loss all around. First there was father/daughter duo O'Neal and ...
'The Biggest Loser: Couples' eliminates Cheryl GeorgeReality TV World
The Biggest Loser: Work Week Two-A-DaysThat's Fit
'Biggest Loser' players get a reality checkmsnbc.com
BuddyTV -TVGrapevine.com -Examiner.com
all 35 news articles »


Reuters

Of wine, women and weight loss
MinnPost.com (blog)
Women around the world were shouting “Cheers!” to Tuesday's news reports about a study that found that ...
Women can win battle of the bulge in a bar: StudyDaily News & Analysis
Middle-Aged Women Who Drink Moderately Gain Less WeightJoinTogether.org
Wine: The new weight-loss miracle?The Week Magazine
Westword (blog) -KOB.com -New York Daily News
all 397 news articles »


Castanet.net

Weight Loss Challenge pays
Agoura Hills Acorn
The Weight Loss Challenge teaches residents how to lose weight in a stress-free, fun environment. Participants receive nutrition lessons, their own personal ...
Weight loss slows, but she's still on trackAG Week
12 Week Weight Loss ChallengeCastanet.net
Weight loss challenge benefits charityTasley Eastern Shore News
Neosho Daily News -Trenton Republican Times -Mesquite Local News
all 10 news articles »


Chicagoist

Art Smith Shares His Weight Loss Secrets In Sun-Times
Chicagoist
Smith shares his weight loss secrets in today's Sun-Times and, wouldn't you know, it all came down to eating right and exercising. ...
The Art of weight lossChicago Sun-Times

all 2 news articles »


LA Weight loss wrongful death suit settles for $700000
Madison County Record
A wrongful death lawsuit against LA Weight Loss Centers Inc. has settled for $700000 in Madison County. According to a March 3 order approving the ...

and more »


Experts: When it comes to weight loss, small changes don't add up
Daily American Online
The basic formula for weight loss is well known: A pound of fat equals 3500 calories. In announcing a national plan to counter childhood ...



How finding the right challenge can keep you focused on your weight loss
NewsChannel5.com
I like that I'm at a point in my weight loss journey where I know enough to make good swaps sometimes when I really want to. I can now follow a plan without ...

and more »


Reuters

18% tax on soda equals 5 pounds weight loss, study finds
Northwest Cable News
As a result, there was weight loss. From that, the researchers suggest that an 18 percent tax on the price of soda would cause a person to consume about 56 ...
New evidence that junk food taxes would lead to weight loss ... maybeLos Angeles Times (blog)
Study: Taxing Soda & Pizza Generates Weight LossCBS 4
Researchers Suggest Taxing Pizza, Soft Drinks to Curb ObesityNACS Online
ABC News -FT.com (blog) -Reuters
all 85 news articles »


Investing in weight loss
Washington Post (blog)
A reader commenting on my Me Minus 10 column a couple of weeks ago suggested that my talk of frequent yoga class-taking and treadmill running smacked of an ...

and more »

Google News



Home | Blog | Improvement | Motivation | Health & Fitness | Relationships | Family | Parenting | Women Issues | Legal Matters
Leadership Home | Site Map
Copywrite © 2006     www.SelfHelpInfoNow.com     All rights reserved.